You wanna listen to the Best Aussie Joke? If yes, this is the right place. This joke contains all Australian clichés. It is told by an authentic Aussie from Victoria (Melbourne). The Australian accent as well as the Australian dialect are presented in a beautiful way. Enjoy!


About the joke

One night in a park in Darwin, having a cold beer and enjoying life, a true Aussie' said: „Record this joke and spread it all over the world, so everybody gains insight into our culture.“ The camera was ready to record and he started.

This bloke walks into a pub, down in Victoria. He's got a little, yellow dog on a leash - the ugliest little, yellow dog you've ever seen. It's just an ugly, dopey Fu**er. He walks up to the bar and says to the barman: „I'll have a beer, thanks.” The barman says: „Hey listen mate, this is the ugliest little, yellow dog I've ever seen in my life! You wanna get him out of here? - cause big Bruce has got Fido down the end of the bar and he will tear the ass-bone right out of this little, yellow dog.“ The bloke says: „Aah, don't worry about him, he will be alright.” So he is drinking his beer and Fido is on a big, thick chain down on the end of the bar, and he is brrrrrr, froth at the mouth and everything. The barman says: „Mate, you gonna have to take this ugly, little, yellow dog out.” The bloke says: „Alright.” So, he takes it outside and he ties it to a poll. Up the other end of the bar, Bruce is trying to hold Fido. Fido snaps the chain and jumps straight through the glass door – smash!!! - and attacks the little, yellow dog. They hear these blood-curdle and screams - and it's over. So, the barman says to this bloke: „I told you Fido would kill this fu**ing, little, ugly, yellow dog.” The bloke says: „Aah, I reckon he'll be alright.” So, they walk out and there's blood and guts everywhere. Just a little, yellow dog sitting there and he's got bits and pieces of Fido all over him and he is licking his chops. So, everybody is going: „F**ck!!!, look at this shit. This little, fu**ing, ugly, yellow dog has killed Fido. Fido has never lost a fight!” So, Bruce says to this bloke: „Fido was my heart and soul and you come along with this stupid, little, ugly, yellow, fu**ing dog that killed Fido. What sort of dog is that anyway?” The bloke said to him: „Well, before we cut his tail off and painted it yellow, it used to be a crocodile.”

Die deutsche Übersetzung dieses Witzes findet man hier:

Das könnte Sie ebenfalls interessieren

Erste Eindrücke im Video​